My Everyday Makeup Look

Hi..
Today im going to share my everyday makeup look. Im not a makeup professional but i love to try on makeup, learn makeup, and buy a lot of makeup stuff.
My makeup is very simple, u wont even realize i put my makeup on. Haha

As the basic, im using my Laneige Snow BB Cushion, this is the last refill i have. It is a great BB cushion but it's so pricy, since im unemployed, i couldnt afford it anymore. It makes my face looks flawless but not cakey and the light shade goes very well with my skin tone. I love to use this BB cream if im in rush or i want a very-very simple natural look

To get a very simple makeup, don't use eye shadow or use natural color of eyeshadow.
Im using my fake naked 2 pallete. Yes, im buying a fake one cause that time, im still learning how to use eye shadow. The original naked 2 is too expensive. As the basic im using "ivory" then "snakebite" for the crease.

Eye liner is a must for every makeup look. This time, i put on a very thin line across my eye line. I curl my eye lash and put on mascara. Fake lashes give u a full makeup look, so i skip the fake lashes.

I have a round face, i love it, but my double chin kinda frustrating me. So i learn how to contour it using NYX wonder stick, i dont know if my contour really make my double chin dissapear or not. And also a little bit contour on my nose. Dont forget the highlight, i put highlight my nose bone and under eye.

Blush on! Love blush on since the first time using makeup. This time, im using NYX Cream Stick in Orchard

Lipstick is a must for me. I love lipstick. This time im using NYX matte lipstick in Tea Rose. It's natural for me, but i still want to keep it more and more simple, so i put on powder to my lips to give it a little fadeaway pink lips.

Then i put on my SkinFood Buck Wheat powder to finish this makeup look.

Tadaa....

New Hobby

Well, waktu kecil aku memang suka membaca buku, kemudian beralih ke komik dan akhirnya beralih ke drama korea, terakhir ke TV series barat. Sekarang aku ingin sekali membaca lagi, aku ingat dulu pernah baca novel bertema romantis, meskipun tdk banyak dan hanya kubaca karena itu punya adik perempuanku. Untuk buku, aku tidak tertarik dengan novel romantis bercerita ttg asmara, rasanya itu novel buat gadis gadis belia yg penuh khayalan buta ttg cinta. Aku lebih memilih novel fantasi seperti Harry Potter dan The Hobbit, aku juga lbh memilih utk membaca buku perkembangan otak daripada perkembangan cinta. Tapi aku tidak tau kenapa saat ini aku mulai membaca novel romantis.

Sabtu lalu aku bertemu dengan teman SMAku dan kami mengunjungi gramedia di Mal Taman Anggrek. Dia menawarkanku buku karangan Ilana Tan. Katanya siapa sih yg ga kenal pnegarang ini, novel karangannya sangat romantis dan menyentuh hati. Aku kembali teringat pernah jalan bersama seorang temanku dan dia juga menceritakan hal yg sama. Sepertinya memang novel yg bagus. Buku terbarunya juga masuk ke kategori buku terlaris.

Akhirnya tanpa berpikir panjang aku membeli buku karangannya yg pertama, Summer in Seoul. Ceritanya sangat polos, simple dan mudah ditebak. Aku sendiri pernah membuat cerita yg persis seperti buku karangannya jauh sebelum aku membaca itu, jadi bagiku itu hanya buku yang biasa saja. Tapi anehnya aku merasa nyaman membaca buku tersebut. Aku merasa hidupku sekarang terasa berat, ketika aku membaca buku itu, aku merasa sangat santai dan masuk ke dalam cerita tersebut. Sudah lama, aku tidak memiliki perasaan santai seperti itu, sejak aku meninggalkan drama korea. Hidupku selama setahun ini terasa berat dan penuh percobaan, aku sudah lama tidak bersantai dan menikmati cerita yang indah.

Aku sudah menyelesaikan novel Summer in Seoul dalam waktu yg terbilang cepat, karena aku bukan seorang penggemar buku. Sekarang aku membeli sequelnya lagi, Autumn in Paris. Kata temanku, buku yg jni sangat menyentuh hati dan aku sangat mengantisipasi perasaan seperti itu.

Aku akan kembali membaca novel Autumn in Paris. Aku sudah baca sampai Tatsuya Fujisawa rajin mengajak Tara Dupont utk berkencan, aku sangat penasaran dengan kisah berikutnya. Aku akan segera update blog lagi setelah selesai membacanya. See ya.

孙燕资 - 天嘿嘿

Yesterday, i found a Chinese songs playlist in my office sharing folder, i started to listening to it today. There are so many old chinese songs that i used to listening to, such a nostalgia day. Suddenly it played a song called "Tian Hei Hei" / "天黑黑" / "Ti Ow Ow"

I'm falling in love with this song, i've been listening to it whole day. This was sung by Stephanie Sun, an Singaporean singer. I had listened to it before, years ago, recommended by my friend, Wirianty. I think that this song is really suitable to my condition right now, who is working aboard, far away from home, having so many relationship problems, sometimes i don't know what am i doing here.

I'll share the lyrics of this song, but it's in chinese, let me translate it to english. But of course with my broken english, haha. Sorry if it causing you trouble in understanding it.

作詞：廖瑩如&April
作曲：李偲菘
編曲：吳慶隆

我的小時候
During my childhood

　吵鬧任性的時候　
When i was noisy and stubborn

我的外婆　總會唱歌哄我
My grandma used to sing for me

夏天的午後　
On summer's noon

老老的歌安慰我　
An old song comforts me

那首歌　好像這樣唱的
that song is sang like this

天黑黑　
The sky is dark

欲落雨　
It's about to rain

天黑黑.. 黑黑
The sky is dark.. dark

-----
離開小時候　
Left my childhood

有了自己的生活　
Having my own life

新鮮的歌
new songs

　新鮮的念頭
new idea

任性和衝動
When i'm stubborn and aggresive

　無法控制的時候
Can't be controlled

　我忘記　還有這樣的歌
I forgot that there's a song like this

天黑黑
The sky is dark

　欲落雨
It's about to rain

　天黑黑.. 　黑黑
The sky is dark.. dark

*　我愛上讓我奮不顧身的一個人　
I fallen so deep in love with a guy

我以為
I thought

這就是我所追求的世界
This is the kind of world i was dreaming of

　然而橫衝直撞
However, running ahead fast

　被誤解被騙
I was misunderstood, i was cheated

　是否成人的世界背後　
Is the world behind an adult

總有殘缺 
Always has deformities

　我走在每天必須面對的分岔路　
I walk on the crossroad where i have to face everyday

我懷念
I miss

過去單純美好的小幸福
The innocent and lovely little happiness in the past

　愛總是讓人哭　
Love always let us cried

讓人覺得不滿足
Let us feel dissatisfied

　天空很大
The sky is so wide

卻看不清楚
Yet unable to be seen clearly

　好孤獨
I'm so lonely

Repeat ＊

天黑的時候　
When the sky is getting darker

我又想起那首歌　
I thought about the song again

突然期待　
Suddenly i wish

下起安靜的雨
There's quiet rain

原來外婆的道理　早就唱給我聽　
grandmother’s advice had sung to me so much earlier

下起雨
Eventhough it' raining heavily

　也要勇敢前
We still have to be brave

我相信
I believe

　一切都會平息　
Everything will be fine

我現在　好想回家去
Suddenly i feel like want to go home

天黑黑　
The sky is dark

欲落雨　
It's about to rain

天黑黑..　黑黑
The sky is dark.. dark

When i was searching for the lyrics, I found out Stephanie Sun is now 37 y.o. Suddenly i feel so old. Most of my childhood idols are getting married and having babies. When will i? Haha

Broken into pieces

Aku masih membencimu.
Aku benci kau masih menghubungi dan bertemu mantanmu. Terlebih kau lakukan itu di hari 1 tahun kita pacaran. Apakah kau tau bahwa ini pertama kalinya aku merayakan pacaran 1 tahun/anniversary?

Aku sangat kecewa.
Aku merasa kehilangan harapan.
Aku merasa kehilangan kepercayaan.
Aku tidak menyangka kau masih rindu dengan mantan pacarmu.

Tapi kita sudah berjanji. Aku tidak akan mengungkit hal ini lagi dan kau tidak akan pernah bertemu dia lagi. Meskipun janji ini agak aneh, aku tidak boleh mengungkit kesalahanmu dan harus membantumu melupakan mantan pacarmu. Kau bilang jika aku ungkit-ungkit dia, kau akan semakin memikirkannya. Ternyata kau begitu merindukannya, sehingga dengan menyebut 'wanita itu' saja kau ingin sekali bertemu dengannya.

Sebenarnya aku masih bingung dengan apa yg harus kulakukan selanjutnya. Didalam hatiku, aku tau, aku harus bisa melupakan semuanya, belajar memaafkan dan melanjutkan hidup yg lebih bahagia. Namun pikiranku selalu mengangguku, dia memberikanku gambaran kalian sedang bercanda ria, tertawa bahagia disaat ku sedang sendiri dijalanan malam hari.

Kau selalu bertanya dengan penuh emosi sampai kapan aku akan galau seperti ini. Apakah kau mengerti perasaanku saat ini? Perasaan seorang pacar yg dikhianati dan diselingkuhi?
Aku juga ingin cepat sembuh dan bahagia bersamamu, tapi aku takut kau curangiku lagi.

Happy Anniversary

6 April 2015.
It should be a very cheerful day. We are celebrating our first anniversary, even there's no gift or flowers. I still feel so grateful and happy. We ate at Dim Sum Inc, Epicentrum. We had a serious yet romantic chitchat. We were flashing back our best moments in a year, while eating our mix platter of dimsum and a bottle of san miguel. We were singing and screaming like little kid on our way home. We laughed so much. When we got home, we cleanse ourself and get ready to bed, such a lovely night.

But, suddenly i got up in the middle of the night. It's 3 P.M. i don't know why, i dont always got up in the middle of my sleep, even there's fire in the room, i will never know. But..... i got up. The first thing that came to my mind is to check his phone. His phone was locked and he never want to tell me his pass code, he dont even let me look at his phone when he was unlocking his phone. I always have way to figured out his pass lock, i wont tell him how I figured it out this time.

Hmm, well, guess what i saw. I felt like my heart is tearing apart when i saw it. He went to his ex's! FUCK!
I told him thousand to million to billion time. I hate your ex, dont you ever see her again. I begged him, I threatened him, i bought dozen of medicine, ready to kill my self if he's going there. And he did it! So should i kill myself?
I really want to die right now, i'm living like dying.

We had a great fight this dawn. He got really mad, he said that i'm too immature. I dont want to be like that too. I tried to change, i want to be better, i want him to help me. But he pushed me even harder. I fell so deep. I can't get up. I have no passion in my life anymore.

Maybe you will think i'm too exagerated, kill my self just because my bf seen his ex. Hmm well, his ex is such a bitch, she still deeply in love with my bf, and do everything for him. And i'm not a good lover. I felt that she is my threat, he will back to her someday. I felt insecure. i'm more insecure now. I don't know what to do, where to go, who to talk to. I have nobody, no where, nothing.

He cheated on me.
On our anniversary.
Before he came to pick me up, he told me he's going out with his friend. I called him, he scolded me for not giving him time to spend with his friends. I stopped calling him. I believed him. But all he did was hanging out with his ex.

20 facts about me

This was trending on instagram in 2014. It is a challenge game. Somebody will share their 20 facts about them, then they will tag 10 of their friends and challenge them to share theirs too. I was tagged by my friend, but i'm too shy to share my facts on instagram, which was a very public account, and i have hundreds of followers, most of them are my friends. I was thinking a lot about my fact but i don't want to share it. Today i saw the post again and i decided to write it down on this secret blog of mine. Hope when my future self see this will smile, or laugh? Hehe

So, here's 20 facts of me:
1. I believe in God, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit.
2. I'm the oldest of 3
3. I have a lil bro and a lil sis
4. Me and my brother just a year apart, that's why we are so close, we grow up together.
4. Me and my sister are 8 years apart. I dote her so much
5. I was born in Batam, spend my childhood in Pekanbaru, grown up in Selatpanjang, and i live in Jakarta now.
6. I'm a princess at home, a cinderella at dorm.
7. I think me and my father have telepathy, he always know what happened to me even i never tell him. He said he felt it.
8. Fell so deep in love with VK
9. I'd had plan for my future.
10. I'm a cry baby.
11. I have birth mark on my left palm
12. I got an A for my thesis defence on Valentine's day. Sweetest gift ever.
13. I have S.Kom behind my name
14. I love seafood, cheese and potatoes. Love potatoes the most.
15. Part of Willim Family. A very big family
16. I have total of 11 uncles and 12 aunts from both my mom and dad. And of course u can imagine how many cousins i have 😂
17. I was named Vivian before, but idk why my parents changed it to Agnes.
18. Noviyanti stand for my birth month
19. I have unique birth date. 29-11-92 -> 2+9=11=9+2
20. I used to wear braces for 2 years

So, that's 20 facts of mine in March 2015

Love yourself first

Orang2 selalu berkata bahwa, "cintailah dirimu terlebih dahulu".
Saya bukan termasuk seorang "reader" yang suka membaca buku inspirational, artikel motivasi, tentang hidup, cinta, atau apapun. Aku termasuk orang yang hidup disaat ini/ live this moment. Aku percaya, selama aku bersyukur, tidak mengeluh, menikmati hidup, semuanya akan terlihat indah. Selama 21 tahun hidupku, aku blm pernah mengalami goncangan hidup, pilihan terberat, sakit hati yg luar biasa, rasa benci yg mendalam.

Hidupku terlalu simpel, santai, mulus. Bak sungai yang mengalir. Hanya mengikuti arus yg sudah tau ujungnya itu pasti laut, ngalir saja terus. Aku ga pnya banyak harapan, karena apapun yg kuinginkan selalu terkabulkan, aku mendapatkan berkat yang berlimpah, lebih dari yg kubayangkan. Aku merasa sangat senang dan tenang.
Sampai suatu hari, mgkn ada meeting dadakan di surga utk memberiku lbh byk pengalaman hidup, aku diberikan cobaan. Yang dimana sampai saat ini msh kulalui.

Mataku mulai terbuka akan byk hal. Aku mulai sadar aku hidup tidak sendiri. Aku harus memperhatikan sekitarku. Aku mulai merasa kehilangan, yang dulu pernah ada, sekarang sudah tidak ada. Semuanya berubah. Ketika aku berharap dia mengerti keadaan dan perasaanku tapi dia tidak bisa. Ketika aku mau mencari bantuan tapi serba salah. Aku mulai membenci diriku. Aku mulai kehilangan arah dan tujuan. Aku sudah tidak tau lagi hidup buat apa.

Bagaimana dgn mencintai diri sendiri? Apakah pada hidupku sebelum cobaan ini aku telah mencintai diriku sendiri? Tidak. Aku dicintai, semua orang mencintaiku, menyayangi, aku diberikan kemudahan dalam segala hal. Aku tidak benar2 mencintai diriku ataupun orang lain. Aku hidup di zona nyamanku. Dimana aku hanya hidup yang penting lu senang gue senang, bodo amat.

Aku tersadar, aku bersyukur karena aku memiliki, karena aku diberi. Aku bahagia karena semua keinginanku telah dipenuhi. Saat pertama kali mengalami cobaan, aku tdk mau bersyukur dan aku selalu mengeluh, aku merasa tdk bahagia. Aku mau pergi dari masalah. Aku mau pulang ke comfort zoneku. Tapi aku seolah2 tidak diperbolehkan. Apapun yg kulakukan, aku kembali lagi ke sini. Aku berputar2 di sini. Tidak bisa keluar. Aku mulai belajar untuk menghadapi, aku sadar bahwa aku tidak bisa lari. Masalah harus diselesaikan. Masalah ini harus dihadapi. Aku mulai bersyukur atas semua yg terjadi. Aku mulai belajar menghadapi masalah, meskipun ini sulit. Aku beberapa kali menyerah dan dihina. Tapi yg menghinakulah yg mengulurkan tangannya utk mengangkatku.

Kali ini aku ingin berbagi mengenai mencintai diri sendiri. Pada masa aku ingin menerima kenyataan bahwa aku berada didalam pusaran masalah dan harus dihadapi, byk sekali yg terjadi. Ketika aku tidak dihargai, ketika tidak ada orang yg berada di sisiku, tdk ada yg membelaku. Aku berusaha berdiri teguh dan menguatkan diri sendiri. Di saat tidak ada yg menghibur, aku berusaha menghibur diriku sendiri, hal ini blm pernah kulakukan sebelumnya. Aku menghibur diriku sendiri utk tetap tegar dan tersenyum. Aku mengatakan pd diriku sendiri bahwa aku telah berusaha yang terbaik, good job.

Ternyata mencintai diri sendiri bukan dengan dandan. Melainkan disaat dimana kita harus berdiri tegar menghadapi apapun meski sendirian. D saat semua org berpaling darimu, dan kamu tidak memiliki apa2. Kamu berdiri utk dirimu sendiri, berjuang bersama dgn dirimu. Pribadi yang kuat tidak akan mudah goyah.

Aku berharap msh bisa tetap kuat menghadapi cobaan yg tak kunjung kelar ini. Suatu hal besar akan segera terjadi, aku tidak tau seberapa besar pengaruhnya, tp yg pastinya akan sangat parah.
I'm sorry God, i'm sorry Jesus, i'm sorry dad, i'm sorry mom, i'm sorry bro n sis, i'm sorry dear.
It's gonna be hard. It's so hard that i couldn't ever imagine. But it will happen. Soon.